“Trick or Treat, Pervert.”

Being on the homeowner side of trick-or-treating makes me uncomfortable. I don’t know the rules. I do know that 364 days out of the year, if a child rang my bell and I offered it a fun size candy bar, I’d have police at my door within seconds. But here we are, the one day […] Read more


Simply Dinner

Pasta. Simple. Delicious. Easy. And one of my go to dishes. If I’m ever stuck on what to cook for dinner I know I can always count on pasta to pull me out of a pinch.           Another great thing about pasta is that you can pretty much put anything in […] Read more


10 Minutes of X-Men: Days of Future Past

Let’s face it. As grownups, we don’t have a lot of extra time on our hands. And if I’ve got two hours to spare I’d rather spend it napping than watching a movie that sucks. But, I’m willing to give any movie ten minutes to grab me.              X-Men: Days […] Read more


The Scariest Books We’ve Read

It’s October. The weather is getting cooler, the days are getting shorter and all basic cable programming has turned to grainy nightvision footage. Even Animal Planet. It’s the second scariest time of year next to the last day of school. To celebrate we’re going to share with you the scariest books we’ve ever read. Click the […] Read more


A Ponderance

A Ponderance:(In which the Dad must relay thoughts upon bad behavior of his spawn and the validity of punishmental conundrums) What does One do when One discovers that One’s teenaged child has been misappropriating the truth and acting dubiously behind One’s backside? One might choose to journey through the behind property thickets for a thorny […] Read more


Waffling Standards

NOTE: This article was SUPPOSED to be about Highlander Grogg, but I ordered it too late. So in its stead we’ll revisit the first cup of coffee I ever enjoyed. Just a friendly reminder, kids: I am NOT some coffee diva who took tasting courses in France in order to gain a surgical palate when […] Read more


Frickin’ Lasers

Quick question: what kind of printer do you have at home? Inkjet Black and white laser Color laser If you answered anything but “color laser” then get ready, because Christmas shopping will be upon us in a few weeks and you should be ready to pounce on a deal when it comes. But I’m jumping […] Read more


Free Words from a Dumb White Husband

We live in a time of miracles, you guys. A time when you can march right into a hospital, shout, “Give me a new heart!” at the top of your lungs, and tuck yourself in for a comfortable operation that’ll replace your clogged, sickly heart with a brand new, shiny, much-less-likely-to-explode heart. Ah, yes. These […] Read more


10 Minutes of Edge of Tomorrow

Let’s face it. As grownups, we don’t have a lot of extra time on our hands. And if I’ve got two hours to spare I’d rather spend it napping than watching a movie that sucks. But, I’m willing to give any movie ten minutes to grab me.              10 Minutes […] Read more


Let’s Start a Band: The Story of Thunderpants Part 2

Last week, Scarydad began to share what follows the words every man with a guitar utters at some point—Let’s Start a Band. Here’s Part 2. Part 2: Everybody’s workin’ for the weekend I’ve always been more of a solo singer/songwriter type. I dabbled in bands in younger days but they always ended up crashing and […] Read more


Adjacent to Affluence

When you go to the beach with your kids, it is a “family trip.” When you go to the beach with your spouse, it is a “vacation.” A sweet, succulent and somewhat elusive event where you are able to actually relax and not have your head on a swivel to make sure kids don’t brain […] Read more


Overcoming My Own Personal Jill Sandwich

In the 90s, I worked at a small mom & pop game store in Orlando by the name of Video Game Trader. It was a fascinating time for the industry as games gradually moved to disc format, allowing for more content, larger play worlds, full-motion video and… characters that talk. There had been some speech […] Read more


The Sweet Stuff

Luna’s got special treat for us all today. It’s an excerpt from his latest story, Joe Vampire: Halloweenie. One aspect of Halloween that even vampiration couldn’t mow over for me is the edibles, naturally. Now that I own a home, I’ve been on both sides of the trick-or-treating door, and of course, I’ve overthought the […] Read more


Back to Basics: Knives

Special note: We are not responsible for anything stupid you do. Ever. -ben It’s time for something different here at Eat, Play, Shove. Now don’t be scared, this different is good… I hope. I have been doing this little shin-dig for quite a while now and I realized that I haven’t done any how-to videos. […] Read more


The Rusted Corridor: True Stories from the Amtrak Lincoln Service

Amtrak runs a route between my original home, St. Louis, and my adopted home, Chicago. That route is called the Lincoln Service. I’ve ridden it quite a lot in the five years since I moved to Chicago. It is always awful. Here’s another true story from my travels. -Clayton It is nighttime, and I am […] Read more


Let’s Start a Band: The Story of Thunderpants

So you want to be in a band. Friday afternoon, around 5:30. I crack open the first beer of the weekend. The baby sits in her high-chair across the table. She flashes me a grin and waves her arms. She’s happy to see me. I make faces at her and she giggles. I’m happy to […] Read more


Pets of the Apocalypse

Buy it now. Laugh later. It’s been quite a week here in Big D. There’s the Ebola popping up in the same hospital my twins were born. You may have heard a little about that. But, I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about since all of my Facebook friends appear to be experts on the […] Read more


Read or Be Stupid: Wolf in White Van

Reading is important. It makes you less dumb, it improves your memory and it makes you less dumb. We want to encourage reading so we’ll be posting book reviews here from time to time. Check them out and read, or be stupid.  Review by Alex Kimmell Before I start on the book reviewingness, I’ve been […] Read more


Dumb White Husband vs Halloween

This whole website started after I wrote a couple of fictional (more fiction-ish) short stories about the typical suburban guy facing everyday challenges. One of those challenges was Halloween. This October, all October, I’ll be giving away a copy of the story Dumb White Husband vs Halloween when you sign up for my newsletter.   […] Read more


The Hunt For Whiskey Beans, Pt 2: Whiskeyed Coffee Beer, Take My Mind

As you’ll recall from the previous article, ol’ Jason took it upon himself to travel up to Denton, TX in order to try Lakewood Brewery’s enchanting concoction known as French Quarter Temptress –a beer made with coffee beans aged in a bourbon-barrel for four months prior to roast- only to find out the patrons were […] Read more


Dash Cams For Fun and Profit (well not loss)

The Gadgeteer It’s a man job to be curious. Exploring and prodding the world to determine what is best, what is safe and what should be feared. In pre-history this man would be in charge of the stick used to poke maybe-dead things. Today, it’s Todd’s job to seek out the latest gadgets, gear and […] Read more


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