Why We’re Wrong Wednesday: Mother Knows Best.

Just in time for Mother’s Day we have a post from mother Sierra that reminds us Dads why we’re wrong when it comes to the kids. And dishes. But, mostly the kids. 



Anything I can do you can do WORSE!!

My husband is an incredibly smart, talented man. Seriously. People use him like a real life Google.  It’s amazing how much knowledge he possesses about a vast array of subjects…but knowledge doesn’t always equal success in daily life. Here are just a handful of things he does in which his intelligence offers no aid.

Feeding our children. 

When I prepare meals for our children, I try to make it a well-balanced feast. A little protein, a little grain, some veggies or fruit, and always appropriate dipping sauces (never forget the dipping sauces).

When hubster feeds the kids, they usually get cereal. It doesn’t matter what meal he’s preparing, what time of day, what they had at the previous meal…cereal is the answer. Which I guess is better than the time I came home from a meeting to find he’d fed them “pizza toast”.  What is “pizza toast” you ask? Why, it’s a slice of toasted bread, topped with ketchup and a slice of cheese, and thrown into the microwave.  Sounds appetizing, no?

Bathing our children.

Our kids never enjoyed bath time, so at a very early age with our oldest, we introduced him to the shower. One of us would take him in when we showered; the whole thing was over in 5 minutes. After the second baby came around, the process admittedly got a little longer. Hold the baby, wash the baby, and attempt to wash the toddler flopping around at your feet…still much easier than a bath, and the bathroom stayed much dryer. Now, however, we have a 5 year old and a 2 year old, and it’s a little too crowded to get in with them. I usually stand right by the door, holding the showerhead, washing and rinsing hair, and directing them to scrub their sacs and cracks. (Yes, they’re both boys!) In just a few minutes, I have two squeaky-clean kids and we move on with our night.

How could hubster mess this up, you wonder? Well, for starters, you could leave the 5 year old in charge of the very belligerent 2 year old. That is sure to result in fighting, screaming, slapping, slipping, and crying.  20 minutes later, you have two kids standing outside the shower, dripping wet, with shampoo in their hair and soap in their eyes, crying because they’ve been threatened with losing their bedtime story due to all the fighting. Daddy for the, um, win?

Putting the kids down for bed.

While it’s not one of my regular gigs, when I’m in charge of bedtime, it’s pretty quick and simple. I send the 5 year old to go to the bathroom and put his pjs on while I take the toddler to change his diaper and put his pjs on. Then, we all meet in the bathroom for teeth brushing. The 5 year old does his, and I do the 2 year olds. Then we all climb into the big kid’s bed for a story, hugs and kisses, lights out, done. I’m flopped on the couch in no more than 15 minutes, seeing what my DVR has for me to watch.

While Daddy does bedtime, I can feed the dogs, clear the kitchen, and still have time to knock out 2 shows on the DVR. What he is doing up there I can only imagine, based on the occasional shouted sentence that makes its way to me. Key phrases usually include such gems as “not in THERE”, “get off of that”, “this is the LAST time”, and “I need to poop”.

One last thing. 

Now lest you think my only qualms are regarding our kids, let me leave you with one last frustration. Loading the dishwasher is a task that has eluded my thoughtful, helpful, brilliant husband for years. He complains that I have ridiculous rules for how it should be loaded; I contend that it has to be a certain way for all the dishes to get properly cleaned. I repeatedly tell him the reasoning, show him where things should go, remind him, remind him again…hell, I’ve tried everything short of a picture to reference!

Regardless, he still messes it up! I used to think he did it on purpose, so I wouldn’t ask him to help anymore. (I have it on good authority that my Mom did this to my Dad when she didn’t want to iron his work shirts…) On the occasions that he does attempt to load the dishes, it is immediately after unloading it himself. I don’t understand how he can literally just remove the clean bowls from the bottom rack, and then place the dirty ones on the top rack! Seriously?! How do you not remember from 5 seconds ago that the bowls were on the bottom? Can’t you just reverse how you unloaded it to reload it? Apparently not. Now, I get to rearrange the whole dishwasher, and the only way to do that is to unload the dirty dishes and start all over. Thanks, but from now on, I’ll just do it myself!

Thank you, Sierra. You’re right. We were wrong. But, I’m still putting pizza toast into the recipe box.  -dwhben

Sierra is wife to Dave and mom to Xander and Liam. She enjoys online shopping, reading, and drinking wine in her “spare” time (not necessarily in that order). While she is a Jill of all trades, she is a master of none…but to make a little money, she sells houses, essential oils, and relationship enhancement products(editor’s note: wink, wink). To help support her wine habit, visit www.sierrasells.com!

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  • reply Beth ,

    Sounds like my house!! It drives me so bat shit crazy that I will stop whatever I am doing to take over whatever job he was supposed to be doing.

    • reply Benjamin Wallace ,

      In that case I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate him on a job well done.

      • reply Benjamin Wallace ,

        In that case I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate him on a job well done.

      • reply Beth ,

        Sounds like my house!! It drives me so bat shit crazy that I will stop whatever I am doing to take over whatever job he was supposed to be doing.

        • reply Dannett ,

          My husband is awesome and amazing and from what I hear, more helpful than most husbands. “He’s so domesticated” as though I married a trainable monkey. But the dishwasher!!! An engineer, his job is to do things more efficiently. He gets paid enough for this that I get to stay at home – so I’m guessing he’s pretty good at it. So then why is it that he continues to put a dish with its lid basically still closed. In what world would that dish get clean? It’s a dishwasher – there are not magical elves that come out to open the container, clean inside it, rinse it, and place it back. It’s a stick with water that comes out… but since I gather that scoring such a domesticated male is a rarity, I silently re-load the dishwasher (because years and years of reasoning didn’t work)

          • reply Benjamin Wallace ,

            There are certain times in our lives when we learn truths about the world. The disillusionment is often hard to take. This is one of those times for. Because if it’s not magical elves, I cannot even begin to guess what voodoo makes a dishwasher work.

            • reply Benjamin Wallace ,

              There are certain times in our lives when we learn truths about the world. The disillusionment is often hard to take. This is one of those times for. Because if it’s not magical elves, I cannot even begin to guess what voodoo makes a dishwasher work.

            • reply Dannett ,

              My husband is awesome and amazing and from what I hear, more helpful than most husbands. “He’s so domesticated” as though I married a trainable monkey. But the dishwasher!!! An engineer, his job is to do things more efficiently. He gets paid enough for this that I get to stay at home – so I’m guessing he’s pretty good at it. So then why is it that he continues to put a dish with its lid basically still closed. In what world would that dish get clean? It’s a dishwasher – there are not magical elves that come out to open the container, clean inside it, rinse it, and place it back. It’s a stick with water that comes out… but since I gather that scoring such a domesticated male is a rarity, I silently re-load the dishwasher (because years and years of reasoning didn’t work)

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