In the never ending quest to find out why we’re wrong, it’s sometimes good to hear that doing that makes us wrong too.
Why you’re wrong. Hm. Been thinking on this more, especially after some of the posts from my female cohorts lately. I dare say, we wives are turning into DUMB white wives. I can feel the preaching coming on, so I’ll change course and relate my own experience and perspective. (Watch out, Boys, this could turn into a cat fight LOL)
I say we’re turning into dumb white wives, because we’re wrapped up in the mundane things that we ‘think’ are right or wrong. We haven’t mastered the art of Picking Battles, yet. Yes, pick our battles. Otherwise, we’re just going to push our men away.
About ten years ago, shortly after having our third child, I had to leave my job to be a stay at home mom and wife. Why work and fight traffic just to pay for someone else to raise my babies?!? Anyway, I must have been sleep deprived, adult conversation deprived, and post partum (sp??) depressed or all of the above. I was in the laundry room on my hands and knees (again……) sorting clothes. After picking up yet another inside out shirt with the sleeves tucked inside, I began to sob. So, So frustrated, overwhelmed. I just sat there sobbing…. “Why, Why do I do this?!?” Looking around I found bunched up dirty socks – again – again…. Needless to say, those bunched up socks found themselves hurled across the basement within split seconds, along with my mighty temper tantrum…. Ten or so minutes later, after asking again and again ‘Why’… Must have been God Almighty. I realized, because I LOVE him…. That’s ‘Why’! I freaking love this man. My whole perspective changed right then and there. He wakes to the alarm at 4:45 am to go to work – over an hour away – fight traffic – work – fight traffic again. Does he complain? NO – He tucks me back to sleep, kissing me on the cheek, telling me to have a great day “Baby” or “Beautiful”. He calls me beautiful. Even on a bad day, he calls me beautiful. WOW. And that’s just at the beginning of the day. When he returns home – after working his butt off all day – He not just smiles at me – He smiles at me with his amazing eyes, wrapping me up in his arms – and says “Missed you beautiful”. WOW. So, I’ll do his laundry and let his loading the dish washer “wrongly” roll right off my shoulders. Who cares if the dishes aren’t just so? They get clean right? If not, they can go back in the dish washer again, right? I also realized we’re servants. Servants to each other, servants to our children. I’ll do his laundry with love and pride. Now, this realization doesn’t lessen the amount of work or time it costs, but it sure lessens the pain and annoyance in doing it – doing this labor of love.
As for the kids (or, rug rats as they are sometimes), the most important thing is that they know mommy and daddy love each other and mommy and daddy love them. That is the greatest gift to them. All other things with fall into place.
So, I don’t know about you gals, but I’m not willing to push my man away or lose the look of love and esteem from his eyes just because the shirts are inside out or the dishwasher wasn’t loaded properly. Pick our battles.
One more thing, if he took his shirt off and loaded the dishwasher just right, he might just be perfect. Do I really WANT to be married to a perfect man?! Hell NO! What would that make ME? LOL So, you’re wrong and you just stay that way.
You’re right Mags, we’re wrong. But that’s okay. Thanks for joining us on Why We’re Wrong Wednesdays.