Happy Memorial Day

Enjoy the time off from work. Fire up the grill. Enjoy every minute with your family and friends. Make a day of it. Drink too much. Eat too much. Get too much sun. Take it all in. Just take a few minutes to appreciate who gave it to you. Raise a glass, can or bottle […] Read more

vs Giving and Getting

It’s better to give than receive. But receiving is pretty great, too. In fact, with the exception of contagions, it may be even better. Give or receive? It’s quite the moral dilemma, if my understanding of what dilemmas and morals are is right. Even if I have confused morality with greed, I have a solution […] Read more

vs Me and My Big Mouth

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what I said. You don’t have to remind me. I said we were through here. Or, at least, that DWH was moving to another page. But, guess what, I changed my mind. I can do that. I’m a big boy. It’s not like I have any less to do, but, […] Read more

The Ring

Our guest today, Joe Aymor, stops by to remind how a wedding ring makes us totally irresistible and completely stupid.      No, this isn’t an article about that ridiculous horror movie about the girl crawling out of a television set. However, for some dumb, white husbands who find themselves in this certain situation, it could […] Read more

Why We’re Wrong Wednesday – Invisible Mess

Heide Goode stops by today to tell us why we’re wrong when it comes to messes. I honestly don’t see what she’s getting at. Here’s Heide: “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Shakespeare said that, but then, I’m guessing that he had a woman going round picking things up […] Read more

Scarydad vs Uberzombie Horde

Last year I took a bunch of PVC pipe and built a scarecrow for a Halloween lawn decoration.  I made his hands and feet out of dead branches and raffia straw and his head from one of those fake foam pumpkins you can carve without getting jack o’ lantern brains all over you. I drew […] Read more

The Zomnibus

Just in time for Halloween, the Dumb White Husbands vs Zombies Zomnibus is here. Read it now John, Chris and Erik are neighbors in the quaint subdivision of The Creeks of Sage Valley Phase II. These three family men happily live the typical suburban family life—their only real problems have been with each other and […] Read more

Scarydad vs. Whatever is Living in the Attic

Sometimes I have a hard time admitting that I’m dumb. It’s not denial, per se. It’s that I know lots of stuff about things and so when it comes to being dumb, I most often have an event or successful accomplishment I can point to that will prove I actually have more than three brain […] Read more

Why We’re Wrong Wednesday -

From Jammie Caryl My Husband likes to tell me 2 days after he is totally out that he needs a refill of his medications like I KNOW he is out or something.  I work in a doctor’s office and I get calls from men all of the time requesting a refill TODAY because they are […] Read more

Dumb White Husbands vs Zombies: The Weekend

It’s finally here. The exciting conclusion to Dumb White Husbands vs Zombies: The Weekend is available now. I’ve had so much fun writing this book and I’m kind of sad to see it end. I’ve done horrible things within these pages and pushed the bounds of decency in the name of funny. In writing it […] Read more

vs The Water Heater

I fixed our water heater once. The pilot light would stay on until the tank was hot, shut itself off and then not come back on again until I, shivering, would light it again. That little electric clicker thing wasn’t working either so I had to relight it with a stick doused in lighter fluid […] Read more

Mercy Rule

Alex sent me this before our break but it holds as true now as it does during baseball season. Here’s Alex.  “I will play fair and strive to win” This line is taken from the Little League Baseball Pledge. When I played as a kid, we spoke it aloud in unison before every game. A […] Read more

Dumb White Husband vs The Mega Mall

I’m not proud of this fact, but I did hard time when I was young. Went in when I was nineteen; didn’t leave until I was twenty-five. More than half a decade spent languishing on the inside. It wasn’t pretty. It jaded me to the ways of humanity, hardened my soul and made me darker, […] Read more

Dumb White Husband vs Back To School

The kids are back in school today and the house is quiet again. I sat around enjoying the silence for a good twenty minutes before I heard something that freaked me out. After finding a bat and checking all the closets I finally discovered that the noise was my own thoughts. It had been a […] Read more

Friday is Here

Dumb White Husbands vs Zombies: Friday is now available on Amazon. 

We’ll be back soon. Until then, here’s Monkeynauts.

I grew up with cartoons that had one central theme. Good vs. Evil. They may have tried to teach us other things, but I wasn’t really paying attention. It was good guys vs bad guys and none of this work together crap that seems to dominate my kids’ cartoons today.  So in the spirit of […] Read more

Where Have We Been?

Honestly, we’ve been enjoying the summer. It’s been nice. We’ll be back soon with regular posts and plenty of guests and it should be more fun than ever. Until then Dumb White Husbands vs Zombies continues with the release of Thursday.  If you can’t wait for us dumb white husbands to return these guys should […] Read more

The Original Summer Blockbuster

Jaws When I was nine years old we got cable for the first time. I remember the guy showing up one lazy summer afternoon to install the box, which was about half the size of our then state-of-the-art 19” color television set. No more rabbit ears for us; we were moving up in the world! […] Read more

Family Movie Night or WWIII

I’ve got three kids. Taking them to a movie is a pain in the ass. Danielle has 5 boys. So I asked her to share what it’s like taking the family to a movie just so I could feel better about myself. Here’s Danielle: If you don’t know already, having five children in the house […] Read more

Father Songs, Side A

Last month we ran through some spins dedicated mama in rock and roll. Now it’s June, and dad gets a turn in the jukebox. Not gonna like: it’s kind of a mixed bag here. See what you think. Papa Was a Rolling Stone – The Temptations: Papa was a rolling stone; wherever he laid his hat […] Read more

Blockbuster Beatdown: Iron Man vs. Wolverine

Iron Man versus Wolverine. Invincible armor against indestructible adamantium. A narcissistic American industrialist going toe-to-toe with a feral Canadian psychopath. A dynamic duo of self-involved assholery, finding ways to thwart the forces of evil despite themselves, with not one but two superhero franchises apiece. Disclaimer: As this is Big, Loud, Summer Movie Month at DWH, […] Read more