do you have this in awkward

An Especially Dumb Cyber Monday

Welcome, Cyber Monday shoppers! We’ve got an incredible deal for you here at Dumb White Husband. Sure, we have books for sale, and that’s all well and good. But just in time for the holiday season, we also have the toy of 2014! You won’t find it on store shelves, but don’t worry! We’re holding […] Read more


“Trick or Treat, Pervert.”

Being on the homeowner side of trick-or-treating makes me uncomfortable. I don’t know the rules. I do know that 364 days out of the year, if a child rang my bell and I offered it a fun size candy bar, I’d have police at my door within seconds. But here we are, the one day […] Read more


The Rusted Corridor: True Stories from the Amtrak Lincoln Service

Amtrak runs a route between my original home, St. Louis, and my adopted home, Chicago. That route is called the Lincoln Service. I’ve ridden it quite a lot in the five years since I moved to Chicago. It is always awful. Here’s another true story from my travels. -Clayton It is nighttime, and I am […] Read more


The Romantic Adventures of Blinker Boy

Believe it or not, I wasn’t always as awkward as I am today. I used to be worse. There was a point in my life where I went through a phase called “the teenage years.” Those years were a hideously awkward time for me, especially the early portion. I was more of a reader than […] Read more


Sink Sunk

Last summer, my wife and I finally had enough of our bathroom’s pedestal sink. “Enough of you, you cabinet-less abomination!” we shouted at the top of our lungs. “Out, you cursed, porcelain spite!” We congratulated ourselves on some first-rate verbal declarations, then we went to Home Depot, bought a new sink, and heaved the box […] Read more


The Rusted Corridor: True Stories from the Amtrak Lincoln Service

Amtrak runs a route between my original home, St. Louis, and my adopted home, Chicago. That route is called the Lincoln Service. I’ve ridden it quite a lot in the five years since I moved to Chicago. It is always awful. Someone decided it was a good idea to bring a four-year-old on a 7am […] Read more


Do You Have This In Awkward: On the Subject of Gay Volleyball

As a tall, white male, it’s my genetic responsibility to be good at volleyball. It’s a burden that I try to shoulder as often as possible, because I once heard that exercise is good for you. And so it was that I found myself playing in a recreational volleyball league not so very long ago […] Read more