did it myself

The Appliance Apocalypse

We speak in jest about the day that the machines will rise up and kill us, enslave us, or whatever. It’s been the subject of two decent Swarzenegger movies and one great Estevez film. We laugh and buy our tickets and our popcorn and, later, go to bed thinking how crazy that is. The machines […] Read more


Let’s Start a Band: The Story of Thunderpants

So you want to be in a band. Friday afternoon, around 5:30. I crack open the first beer of the weekend. The baby sits in her high-chair across the table. She flashes me a grin and waves her arms. She’s happy to see me. I make faces at her and she giggles. I’m happy to […] Read more


Conspiracy in the Yard

As fall approaches Scarydad has begun closing down his garden. While digging around in the flowerbeds he has uncovered something more than he expected. It’s not a snake. Don’t get squeamish. The past couple of weeks have been pretty nice here at Castle Scarydad. The kids have been good, nothing of consequence has fallen apart […] Read more


The Regenerating Degenerate

Did It MyselfBeing handy is expected of a husband. In fact it’s written into most state wedding licenses because they don’t expect you to read the whole thing. Some husbands are naturals and for the rest there’s Scarydad. He’s always been handy and he’s here to share his tips on everything from appliance repair to […] Read more


D.I.M.: Backyard Archery Target

Did It MyselfBeing handy is expected of a husband. In fact it’s written into most state wedding licenses because they don’t expect you to read the whole thing. Some husbands are naturals and for the rest there’s Scarydad. He’s always been handy and he’s here to share his tips on everything from appliance repair to […] Read more


…Made a graduation present

This past weekend my sister graduated from high school. It was a nice ceremony and everyone was happy and celebratory and stuff. Sis had a stack of cards and presents and was fielding attention from several directions when she opened the little box I had given her. “Oh wow!” she said, looking at the earrings […] Read more


Musings on DIY

About thirty minutes after I put the washing machine back together Bride asked me one of the more unfavorable of questions: “Does the dryer seem noisy to you?” “Why no, Beloved, it does not. It sounds just fine to me. Just close the laundry room door and all will be well.” Unfortunately she was right and […] Read more


Made Art out of Trash

There’s no two ways about it, lumber is expensive. It doesn’t seem that much when you’re walking by it at Home Depot, but it really is. Strangely, people will finish a project and throw away their scraps. Or someone will demolish something and actually pay a landfill to dump exotic and hardwood cabinetry there. As […] Read more


Got Yard Guys

You read the title and say to yourself, “Huh?” It’s okay. Great ideas are often confusing at first. But since this is a story and I’m a storyteller, I’ll fill you in on how I came to one of the most liberating decisions I have ever made. A couple of weeks ago I discussed how […] Read more


D.I.M. Alternator

There’s a Viagra commercial in heavy rotation. It shows a grizzled old Viagra user driving an old car down a dusty highway. The car begins to steam and the guy pulls into a service station, buys a bottle of water and pours it into the radiator. The gravelly voiced narrator exclaims, “You’re at the age […] Read more


Scarydad vs. The Washing Machine

Hello everyone and welcome to issue #1 of Scarydad’s D.I.M. column. Premiere issues go for a lot of money on the collector market so I suggest you buy several copies and keep them in mint condition. I’m pretty sure this will be worth lots of money some day. Let’s begin, shall we?  I like to […] Read more