definitely e-ticket

Thanksgivocalypse or Apocagivinglypse or something like that

Totally (un)Factual Menu Choices for the (sub)Greatest Family Holiday Get Together (N)EVER! *Names have not been changed to protect anybody since none of this crap is real APPETIZERS   Great Aunt Eliza’s Sweet BBQ Meatballs: Can’t serve these because George’s girlfriend Betsy is allergic to Paprika. If you leave out the Paprika everyone’s going to […] Read more


A Broken Halloween

Halloween is tomorrow. I love it. Not just because of the horror aspect of the holiday either. Of course I must admit, the candy is awesome. I have so many great memories from around this time of year. Trick or treating with my sister, getting to stay out after the street lights came on and […] Read more


Overheard in the Dugout

If this conversation overheard in the dugout at last night’s game doesn’t prove that I am father of the year, I don’t know what will…  Kid 1    “I threw my arm out.” Minion “How?” – Minion  Kid 1     “With the ball. On that last play.”   Minion   “That sucks.” – Minion Kid 1     “Yeah. It […] Read more


Friggin’ hormones.

Can we rewind to the toddler era please? After years of trial and error, my grand schemes in dealing with tantrums and attitudes and persnickety food choices and not wanting to go to bed were finally working. I could say “No” sometimes and not have everything devolve into WWIII.  Of course time refuses to cooperate […] Read more


“What do you want to do on your birthday?” Says the wife. “Go to the comic book store.” Says I. “Really?” Says the wife. “Yup.” Says I. I’m standing in between the aisles of brightly colored spandex heroes and sharply fanged drooling jaws of alien monsters. In my hands are two trade paperback collections of […] Read more


Weighing Comedic Merit vs Boobies

Maybe I’m just the old guy looking back fondly, but it seems the greatest comedies came out in the 80’s. Not just one or two but almost every classic funny movie hit around that decade. Yeah, I’m probably just playing the “kids these days” game but they really were the best. Alex seems to agree. -ben […] Read more


Sleep Smarts

I remember weekend mornings of childhood. Running down the long hallway into my parent’s room, wriggling under the covers, stuffing my little body into a nest of snoozie warmth. Rolling over feeling my elbow connect. Then a barking shout, covers thrown off and immediately shuffled back into my own cold lonely room. Confused and sad, […] Read more


The Payback Spoon

Whoever has OCD raise your hand… Not that high. A little lower. Now straighten your arm. More to the left. No. Not like that. Lock your elbow. No. No. No! Here… let me… On the One Hand: Yeah. I’m a bit crazed like that. Only about a few things though. Last night we picked up […] Read more


Blue Tooth…the mullet of the future!

I pushed the flat plastic seat. Arcing forward and up, backward and down, backward and up, forward and down. His laughter bounced across the neatly manicured park, over driveway parked Bentleys and Mercedes Benz’. Long hanging chains clinked over a layer of rust flaking over the hooks connecting swing to a-frame. Three small clouds took permanent, […] Read more


Adventure in the L.A. Music Scene continued

Adventures With Music Connection Magazine (or) How to Make Friends and Un-Influence People PART THE SECOND SONIC YOUTH BOOBIES (or) PUNK ROCK & PIERCED NIPPLES OVER MULHULLAND BLVD. Alex continues the story of his search to find a band in L.A. You can read the first part here. True Story… The man who answered the […] Read more