Still Dumb … But Learning

I try to learn stuff every week so I won’t be so dumb. This week I learned:


We all do. We deserve it.

What can really be said about this week? I heard about Boston. I heard the explosion in West. It’s 60 miles away and we heard it up here. My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone this week. There’s not one person that this doesn’t effect. I’m praying for the victims, their families and all of us.

I really don’t know what I learned this week. I’m still processing it all.

If one thing is for certain, it’s the uncertainty. 

On a personal level, the last few months have seen a constant influx of butt puckering news for my family. Every day has brought a new development that has either sent spirits high or plunging. (note: everyone is healthy and happy). As pucker inducing as all this news has been, there is a lot of excitement in it as well. The only thing that’s definite is that things are changing for us. Things will never be the same. Whether that’s good or bad remains to be seen. It could go either way. But there is no going to back to what we knew.

Boston has had that same effect for all of us. There will never be a day where this horrible event didn’t happen. Our world has changed again. Our sense of safety has been challenged again. Then West — a random fire levels half a town. There was a school nearby. And a hospital. And a nursing home. All places that should feel like the safest places on Earth.

I want to hide under the covers. I want to run to my childhood home and feel safe again. But retreating to the familiar isn’t an option for any of us. It’s changed.

Even if I could run back there, I know that it’s not the right move. I’m not going to go into the “then the terrorists win” cliche, because I don’t think it’s right. I don’t think that mere resilience makes us the victors. It’s not enough. “As you were” is not enough.
These assholes changed our world this week. This has happened a lot lately. But, assholes aren’t the only ones that can do that. Instead of seeking comfort in a fort made of couch cushions—as awesome as that sounds and I may do it just for fun anyway—we shouldn’t try to put things back as they were. Let’s make some changes of our own.

In the last few months, and especially this week, my comfort zone has been obliterated beyond recognition. Everything has collapsed. The couch cushions have fallen over. There’s no where left to hide. Fine. If that’s the way it is, worrying about it isn’t going to help. I’m going to embrace Discomfort in a bear hug so tight that Discomfort is going to puke. I’m going to show my kids that misfortune, bad luck, and the beliefs of cowardly assholes are insignificant.

I’m done playing it safe because safety doesn’t play fair. 

What am I going to do? For one, I’m going to stop waiting for things to work out. I’m going to make them work out. I’m going to make sure my family is happy. Not content. Happy. There’s a big difference. And I’m going to do what I can to make everybody happy. I’m going to do my best to make you laugh. I’m going to do what I can to brighten your day. It’s a tough sell this week. But there’s tomorrow.

I’m going to show change and uncertainty and discomfort and fear how small they are by enjoying the shit out of every day.

So that’s what I’m going to do. Right after this drink because God knows we all need it after this week.



I wrote a new book. It’s really fun. Part of that whole making people laugh thing.
It’s Battlestar Galactica vs Downtown Abby in our first Battle for Control
We can’t even go to the bathroom without being wrong.
DwhLuna is doing some good and has a short story in the Orange Karen Anthology
You call that music? 

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  • reply Danielle Young ,

    I say that sounds like a great plan! What better way to get back at all those trying to destroy everyone’s happiness than by being happy?

    And for the record, you do make me laugh, every day! I definitely want you to keep it up, looks like we are going to need all those laughs! :D

    • reply Hanne ,

      Well said, Ben :) This post reminded me of one of my favorite quotes: Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. – Arthur Ashe. And this youtube video helps: Have a wonderful, creative day!

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