After Benjamin was born we made the decision to scale back on some things so that she could stay at home while I worked. And then right when we were really getting into a groove with one child, of course we’re like “Hey, let’s add another one! How hard can it be?!” Well, it’s hard. Tons of other people have 2+ kids and thrive; nonetheless two sweet/rambunctious boys can take you from zero-to-cuss pretty quickly. Not out loud, under your breath.
Emily does an amazing job at being a wife and mother and fellow improviser (we perform together with Pavlov’s Dogs in Dallas). But Emily had a recent realization that she was the caretaker for at least one kid for 6 years straight, with only the occasional 1-2 day couple’s trip here and there. She just wanted to get away. Like, “see ya, mommy will be back in a week” kind of getaway. A chance to rest, a chance to think, visit, shop, eat, shower, whatever without someone tugging on a sleeve or saying, “mommy… mommy… mommy… momma…. Mom, mom, mom… hey you!”
- Day 1 was very similar to jumping into a pool of cold water. It is a shock, it’s not the way you want it to feel, but after awhile you get used to it. The water is still cold and you just want to get out, but then you acclimate.
- Murphy’s Law was in full effect. On a school day, it is a hair-pulling endeavor to get the 6 year old up and at’em. During spring break he got up on his own at 6:30am. Sweet.
- I’m actually pretty okay at cooking when I have the time and raw materials to do it (Paleo Cowboy Hash anyone?) Without a recipe, however, I am a dead man.
- I did feel like I was living the military motto of “we do more before you wake up then you do in your day.” I would get done with breakfast, clean up dishes, clean up the boys, start some laundry and dress the boys only to look at my watch to see “8:12am.”
- Spring break was the week in Dallas where it was 80º one day and 40º the next day. Nice weather days were great and went by real quickly. Indoor days felt like a watched pot that never boiled.
- Keeping up with 2 high-energy boys, I found myself making more random noises when I would get down on the floor to play, or hop up to play chase: sighs, low level groans, grunts. My factory warranty might be running out.
- I embarked on a father/son ritual with Benjamin (6) – viewing of the original Star Wars trilogy. He had been asking questions like, “so when do the Storm Troopers work for ‘Yodah’ and when do they work for ‘Darth Bader’” Oblivious of his Pandora’s Box-like question, I decided it was time for him to learn things for himself. So each day while his brother napped, we cuddled up and watched a galactic story from a long time ago. Major highlight.
- The first day of the break I issued about 30 “time outs” under my zero-tolerance policy. I was pleased to see it decrease every day to around 3 at the end of the week. See, prisons CAN work!
- My favorite time of the day? 8:31pm. The boys’ day was done. They were nice and clean, tucked into their beds and I could finally have the “waiting to exhale” moment. Before the break I contemplated accepted a freelance job, thinking I could just bang it out at night. Nope. I was incapable of a single cogent or creative thought by the end of the day. Even the plots of sitcoms I watched were making my brain sweat.