Free Words from a Dumb White Husband

Keyhole Heart Cover

We live in a time of miracles, you guys.

A time when you can march right into a hospital, shout, “Give me a new heart!” at the top of your lungs, and tuck yourself in for a comfortable operation that’ll replace your clogged, sickly heart with a brand new, shiny, much-less-likely-to-explode heart.

Ah, yes. These are the days.

But it wasn’t always so. It used to be, back in the olden days, that if you needed a new heart, you had to lie down on a dirty table, swig some moonshine, and let some sawbones saw your bones and drop in a rusty old tin box of a heart that you have to wind every eight hours with a key.

At least, I think that’s how it worked. I don’t really understand history.

What I do know is that’s how it happens for poor No-Tooth Wilson in my new short story, “The Keyhole Heart.” Old Doc Honeymill has the cure for No-Tooth’s heartburn; a brand new mechanical heart. Sure, it might be overkill. Sure, he’ll probably get sepsis. And sure, Doc Honeymill may or may not be an actual doctor.

But hey. It’s the Old West. You take what you can get.

And what you can get is this short story for absolutely free! Some people will have to pay for it, but not you! All you need to do is sign up for my email list, which I will never sell to any person, scrupulous or otherwise, and which I will never use for spam purposes. I just use it to tell you about new free short stories and fun novels and things that are in the works. Sound good?

Sign up by clicking here and on Oct. 15, you’ll get a free Kindle copy of “The Keyhole Heart”!


You Can Also Get Dumb White Husband vs Halloween FREE

It’s the story of a man, his yard and a dream to host the scariest Halloween on the block. It’s also the story of another man, his yard and a similar dream that looks pretty much exactly the same as the other guy’s dream. The two collide in a tale of terrible neighbors and awesome Halloween decorations.

Get a free copy of the story when you sign up for my newsletter.

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