Dale Alexander

Cyber Monday Is Now Officially Dumb

Man, I loved me some Cyber Monday deals back in 2007. Since then? Meh. There are definitely deals to be had on this newly christened holiday… just like the online deals the day before… and the week before… and the month before. Sorry Cyber Monday, you are no longer cool and here are a few […] Read more


The Gentlemen’s Guide To The Apocalypse: Safehouses

Deep down no one really hopes for or wishes the apocalypse to happen on their watch. The simple truth is that it will happen to 8 billion or so people when they least expect it. And they’re so gonna wish they read Dumb Whit Husband in November. To reward your faithful readership, I am prepared […] Read more


“Happy Halloween, ‘Merica!”

We can all agree that Halloween, as we know it, is straight up weird, right? It took the awkwardness of explaining why we do what we do at Halloween to my 6 year old for it to sink in how little sense it makes. He was asking the most basic, softball questions and I was […] Read more


Adjacent to Affluence

When you go to the beach with your kids, it is a “family trip.” When you go to the beach with your spouse, it is a “vacation.” A sweet, succulent and somewhat elusive event where you are able to actually relax and not have your head on a swivel to make sure kids don’t brain […] Read more


The News Is Now Like A Movie

I posted the other day that watching the news was like watching a GDI or NOD cut scene. This was a very specific joke for a very specific handful of Command and Conquer fans (wink!), but I wanted to include more of you Gen Pop in my observation. Watching updates about anything “IS” related has […] Read more


SOURED APPLE AFTERTASTE

Like a good little nerd I was tuned into the livestream of Apple’s announcement like some or most of you this week – on my Apple cinema display, plugged into my MacBook Pro, sitting next to my iPhone 5, while my iPad was charging on the shelf below. I ain’t rich, half of that is […] Read more


The Arms Race: First Day of School Version

“Wait, when did back-to-school become such a big deal?” Hop in my text-based time machine back to my first day of public school at Jamestown Elementary in 1984. I walked by myself to the bus ¼ mile away, rode the shocks-free vehicle listening to Air Supply, wearing ill-fitting clothes from either Sears or Miller’s outpost, […] Read more


Pitching A New Bond Villain

I cut my teeth on the movies of the 80’s. The glorious heyday for sci-fi, whimsical comedies about growing up, and the oiled-pec action movies where everyone is constantly trying to “GETTOTHECHOPPA!” There was one tangential genre that always captured my imagination – the James Bond films. They had action, but weren’t an “action movie” […] Read more


Out For Vacation

There once was a time where the word “vacation” meant spending luxurious days in the land of rest and relaxation, where time slowed down and I was able to taste the Welch’s. This is no longer the definition for me. “Vacation” might still be the term used on my timesheets, but the correct term is […] Read more


The USA vs Futbol

Today is Thursday July 27th. For you, 12:00 PM (EST) will either mean “aw yeah, lunch time! Where’s my sammich and Little Debbie?” or “USA! USA! USA! Our country seems to have finally tipped from flirting with soccer to potentially, maybe, I dunno – possibly having a one-night stand with the game. That or “we […] Read more


Father’s Day vs. Me Day

For me the general satirical theme of Dumb White Husband is that, in general, dads are oafs that just can’t seem to get things right. Society’s last punching bag to make fun of without any real recourse. It’s to the point where Father’s Day doesn’t even get its own sales event – “Celebrate Dads and […] Read more


Kinderdictorian

If everything you truly need to know in life is learned in kindergarten, then my 6-year old boy is officially ready to take on the world. Yes, young master Benjamin “graduated” from kindergarten last week and his mom and I were there to share proud glances at each other as if we were in a […] Read more


Zen and the Art of Concert-going

Quick disclosure, this is not a music review. And I am not a music-head, or even an avid concert-goer. My only qualifications are: I enjoy music, I enjoy the occasional concert, and I am a human who observes things. With that, I present to you my time at a recent Phantogram concert!Let’s get my endorsement […] Read more


Using Your Brains Before They’re Eaten

Last weekend my improv friends from Pavlov’s Dogs and our spouses set out on an adventure. No, we didn’t go to a craft beer tasting, or ride around town in a karaoke limo. We were locked in a room with a zombie and had 60 minutes to solve riddles in order to escape. Spoiler: we all […] Read more


The Tip-Off: NBA Game With A 6 Year Old

I have a confession to make: the last ticket to a sports event I purchased was in 2000. And it was $16 with a discount Dr. Pepper can to watch a pretty terrible Dallas Mavericks team led by a young schnitzel named Dirk.All the other times? Free tickets. I have been the recipient of a […] Read more


Life As A Single Dad (exhibition match)

Let’s get to know me a little bit better. I’m in my mid-30’s, live in the DFW area and have been blissfully married for almost 12 years. The fruits of my marriage come in the forms of Benjamin (6) and Aaron (2). Most people use terms like “blissfully” with some level of sarcasm, but I […] Read more


Observations at 30,000 ft.

My life as a creative in advertising often requires me to fly around the country. Let me stop you before your imagination takes you to the place people often go when thinking about the advertising world. Which is usually a mishmash of Mad Men and scenes from Studio 54. I think those days went away about […] Read more


Olympic Closing Ceremonies – A Prediction

Another Winter Olympiad is drawing to a close, and I think the world’s reaction is, “well, that was definitely something.” Countries that were supposed to do well did well. Countries that had no chance contributed new footage to the “agony of defeat” reel. It goes without saying that if given the choice, Russia would want […] Read more


The Hunger Games Are Cooler Than The Olympic Games

Whoa, whoa ,whoa – before you get your underthings in a twist, let me explain. I am not condoning the open-air melee of preteens vying for a chance to smite at each other in order to earn food for their homeland. Nor am I diminishing the efforts and sacrifices made by the finely tuned humans […] Read more


“The Primes of my Life”

After a turbulent and bumpy jeep ride from Songkla to a small French hospital in the outskirts of Bangkok, I was born 37 years ago. Yes, today is my birthday. No… please, hold your applause. Seriously guys, you are too kind. As one gets older up into middle age, you can’t help but reflect a […] Read more


Word of the Day: Rumspringa

The Amish are an interesting and often misunderstood people. Especially when our greatest point of reference for them is the movie Kingpin. A tradition that most populations of Amish observe is called Rumspringa. Despite sounding like something that happens in March at Daytona Beach, it is a time where adolescent Amish are given the opportunity […] Read more