Benjamin Wallace

Batman vs Superman vs Dumb White Husband

I’m a Marvel guy. Always have been. I read Batman quite a bit but little else from DC. And after Dark Knight Rises and Green Lantern (never saw Man of Steel) I was convinced DC couldn’t make a good superhero movie. It wasn’t that the movies were bad (but they were) it was that DC […] Read more


Have that drink

An awful lot has happened since we went on hiatus a little over a year ago. The saddest new is that we lost one of the husbands. Jason Laughlin was our coffee expert and a good friend. I met Jason in college. His wife and my wife were bridesmaids in our respective weddings. And I […] Read more


Okay, break’s over

Since we took our break, the world has grown dumber. We feel like someone needs to say something. Someone needs to stand up and say, “That is dumb.” And no one knows dumb like us. So, we’ve come back. No one asked for it. No one particularly wanted it. But no one can stop it. […] Read more


How many oceans are there? WRONG!

My twins came home today proud of their performance on a test of continents and oceans. They said they got all seven continents and five oceans correct. “Four oceans,” I said possessing a college degree. “No, Daddy. Five oceans.” They said being seven-year-olds. “The Atlantic Ocean. The Pacific Ocean. The Indian Ocean. The Arctic Ocean […] Read more


Santapocalypse: aka The Santa Talk

My son lost a tooth the other day and I am an amazing tooth fairy. When I remember. The point is, I forgot. But this opened up a decent opportunity to have the Santa talk with him. My son is ten and better than any other kid in every other way. It is only due […] Read more


Free Thanksgiving Story

Shit. It’s here already. My parents used to complain about the year just flying and now I’m beginning to see what they’re talking about. Anyway, as we scramble to find a turkey, we’d like you to enjoy this free short story about an ass kicking pilgrim that wanders the new world with bad ass Croatan fighting flesh […] Read more


10 Minutes of X-Men: Days of Future Past

Let’s face it. As grownups, we don’t have a lot of extra time on our hands. And if I’ve got two hours to spare I’d rather spend it napping than watching a movie that sucks. But, I’m willing to give any movie ten minutes to grab me.              X-Men: Days […] Read more


The Scariest Books We’ve Read

It’s October. The weather is getting cooler, the days are getting shorter and all basic cable programming has turned to grainy nightvision footage. Even Animal Planet. It’s the second scariest time of year next to the last day of school. To celebrate we’re going to share with you the scariest books we’ve ever read. Click the […] Read more


10 Minutes of Edge of Tomorrow

Let’s face it. As grownups, we don’t have a lot of extra time on our hands. And if I’ve got two hours to spare I’d rather spend it napping than watching a movie that sucks. But, I’m willing to give any movie ten minutes to grab me.              10 Minutes […] Read more


Pets of the Apocalypse

Buy it now. Laugh later. It’s been quite a week here in Big D. There’s the Ebola popping up in the same hospital my twins were born. You may have heard a little about that. But, I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about since all of my Facebook friends appear to be experts on the […] Read more


Dumb White Husband vs Halloween

This whole website started after I wrote a couple of fictional (more fiction-ish) short stories about the typical suburban guy facing everyday challenges. One of those challenges was Halloween. This October, all October, I’ll be giving away a copy of the story Dumb White Husband vs Halloween when you sign up for my newsletter.   […] Read more


Get Funny for Free

Pets of the Apocalypse. I’ve written a new short story that takes a look at how our pets might handle the sudden demise of humanity. It’s a comedy and you can get it for free. The story follows two dogs, Fidget and Sasquatch, immediately after the death of their beloved caretaker/food source. It will be […] Read more


10 Minutes of Godzilla

Let’s face it. As grownups, we don’t have a lot of extra time on our hands. And if I’ve got two hours to spare I’d rather spend it napping than watching a movie that sucks. But, I’m willing to give any movie ten minutes to grab me.      10 Minutes of Godzilla I don’t […] Read more


Make Your Friends Jealous

It’s time for another giveaway.  Follow the link to enter to win a signed copy of Tortugas Rising by me. If you win you’re friends will be jealous. You’ll like that. Make ‘em jealous Tortugas Rising by Benjamin Wallace Giveaway ends September 20, 2014. See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter to win  ______________________________________ I’ve […] Read more


Poor Roger Goodell

I’ve always believed that sports bring out the worst in people. They turn people into arrogant, ranting idiots seemingly programed to react to simple phrases and colors like a puppy in a test lab. Now, before you get all upset, I’m not picking on one type of athlete—I’m talking about the players and the fans. […] Read more


The Winter Soldier: A Parent’s Perspective

Admittedly, I’m a big nerd. I saw Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier on opening day with the whole family. And it was awesome.  The 70’s political thriller feel was perfect and proved again that Marvel doesn’t make superhero movies as much as they make great genre movies with super heroes. My kids loved it as […] Read more


Giveaway: Dumb White Husbands vs Zombies

Don’t say we never did nothing for you.Because it would be a double negative. Goodreads Book Giveaway Dumb White Husbands vs. Zombies by Benjamin Wallace Giveaway ends September 13, 2014. See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter to win


Giveaway: Horror in Honduras

I’m giving away a signed copy of my book Horror in Honduras. Enter below for your chance to win. The Bulletproof Adventures  of Damian Stockwell Horror in Honduras by Benjamin Wallace Giveaway ends August 30, 2014. See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter to win  Damian Stockwell was raised from birth to be a force […] Read more


Read or Be Stupid: Monster by A Lee Martinez

Reading is important. It makes you less dumb, it improves your memory and it makes you less dumb. We want to encourage reading so we’ll be posting book reviews here from time to time. Check them out and read, or be stupid. Monster by A Lee Martinez Review by Ben If you ever go to […] Read more


Prop Washed

I hate flying. And, it’s not the heights. It’s not the fear of dying. It’s the other people I’m going to die with. We all know them. There’s the guy that thought his travel day would be a good day to save some money by skipping deodorant. There’s Captain Halitosis who naps with his mouth […] Read more


Why you don’t get a hobby.

“Why don’t you get a hobby?” Ah, how many sitcoms plots have launched with those words set as a countdown? Because you’ll get trapped in an ice fishing shed. Because you’ll get trapped in a submarine built in the basement shower. That’s why you don’t get a hobby. Maybe your wife has asked you the […] Read more