I love it. Not just because of the horror aspect of the holiday either. Of course I must admit, the candy is awesome. I have so many great memories from around this time of year. Trick or treating with my sister, getting to stay out after the street lights came on and the piles of candy. A few years older and being allowed to stroll through the neighborhood unsupervised with my mob of likewise puberty enthused dude guys trailing after the older high school girls wearing their sexy cat/cop/prisoner/ghost/monster/cheerleader costumes.
Did I mention the candy?
This year, the youngest minion spent most of last weekend rough housing with his friends who live on the street. They played Manhunt and Laser Gun Kill The Alien Whatchamacallit and football. Unsurprisingly he came home limping. The pain…Oh the pain!
Being the good, understanding Dad that you all know I am, I took him to the doctor. Nothing appears to be broken fortunately, but he has to wear a stiff brace and use crutches. Needless to say this can really put a damper on the Halloween festivities. He is very upset and is thinking about not trick or treating.
I will not let this stand! He will venture forth and receive copious amounts of diabetic coma inducing, teeth rotting chocolate bars and peanut butter cups! If only for the fact that I get to rummage through his bag of snacks after he goes to bed.
To cheer him up, I decided to tell him he is most certainly not riding solo in the banged up car of tragic Halloween events. For example…
Around the age of five or six, probably dressed as Speed Racer or The Six Million Dollar Man, I followed my older sister dragging a pillow case filled with the evenings pickings behind me through the winding streets of our entire neighborhood. By the time we made it back home to the kitchen table, we were more than eager to sort our loot into the good pile, the okay to eat since it was free pile, the downright gross pile and finally the “these go to Daddy” pile.
It was then I noticed the hole in the bottom of the pillow case. Torn open from scraping along the sidewalk for so many blocks, all of my candy had fallen through leaving me with nothing but an apple, one Garbage Pail Kids card and a few grounds of dirt. Tears were shed and howls of pain echoed between the bright yellow wallpaper.
On this Halloween, in this moment I learned that my big sister did in fact love me. I learned I wasn’t a mere punching bag and target to direct the blame for all spills and broken things in the house. She gave me a hug and split her candy evenly with me. She even let me chose which chocolate bars I wanted.
I shared this memory with the minion to teach him he does not have to live alone in experiencing a troubling All Hallow’s Eve. His brother and his friends will be there to help make certain he gets to reap the benefits of stranger’s with candy.
But after he goes to sleep, that crap is all mine!!!
Get Dumb White Husband vs Halloween FREE
It’s the story of a man, his yard and a dream to host the scariest Halloween on the block. It’s also the story of another man, his yard and a similar dream that looks pretty much exactly the same as the other guy’s dream. The two collide in a tale of terrible neighbors and awesome Halloween decorations.