November 2014

Santapocalypse: aka The Santa Talk

My son lost a tooth the other day and I am an amazing tooth fairy. When I remember. The point is, I forgot. But this opened up a decent opportunity to have the Santa talk with him. My son is ten and better than any other kid in every other way. It is only due […] Read more

Gadgets For The Apocalypse

Just because you went out and bought a generator and restocked your pantry doesn’t mean you’re ready for the apocalypse to hit – there are still a few more things to think about if you’re going to survive.             What’s the biggest one? WATER You know that humans can’t survive […] Read more

The Appliance Apocalypse

We speak in jest about the day that the machines will rise up and kill us, enslave us, or whatever. It’s been the subject of two decent Swarzenegger movies and one great Estevez film. We laugh and buy our tickets and our popcorn and, later, go to bed thinking how crazy that is. The machines […] Read more

Thanksgivocalypse or Apocagivinglypse or something like that

Totally (un)Factual Menu Choices for the (sub)Greatest Family Holiday Get Together (N)EVER! *Names have not been changed to protect anybody since none of this crap is real APPETIZERS   Great Aunt Eliza’s Sweet BBQ Meatballs: Can’t serve these because George’s girlfriend Betsy is allergic to Paprika. If you leave out the Paprika everyone’s going to […] Read more

Free Thanksgiving Story

Shit. It’s here already. My parents used to complain about the year just flying and now I’m beginning to see what they’re talking about. Anyway, as we scramble to find a turkey, we’d like you to enjoy this free short story about an ass kicking pilgrim that wanders the new world with bad ass Croatan fighting flesh […] Read more

The Gentlemen’s Guide To The Apocalypse: Safehouses

Deep down no one really hopes for or wishes the apocalypse to happen on their watch. The simple truth is that it will happen to 8 billion or so people when they least expect it. And they’re so gonna wish they read Dumb Whit Husband in November. To reward your faithful readership, I am prepared […] Read more

Black Friday Has Changed

If there is any contemporary event the most closely resembles the apocalypse it’s Black Friday or some horrific disaster that I’m belittling by making that joke. Though he’s hung up his one armed leather jacket, Jim was once the Mad Max of Black Friday. Here he relives one of his greatest moves.   -ben   […] Read more

Pantry of the Apocalypse… Part 2

Welcome back to our apocalyptic pantry discussion. Last time, we discussed how to approach the idea of food storage and what needs to be done before you even consider purchasing food. This week we are going to dive into the nitty gritty. How do you purchase the food needed and just where in the heck […] Read more

An excerpt from Apocalypticon

An excerpt from Apocalypticon, a post-apocalyptic buddy comedy road trip horror adventure by Clayton Smith   The soup was easily the best thing Ben had ever tasted; carrots, celery, onions, kale, white beans, basil, and thyme, seasoned with healthy amounts of pepper and unhealthy amounts of salt. The flavors danced together in a symphony of […] Read more

A Cat Name Apocalypse

In honor of Apocalypse month, here is an excerpt from my upcoming story, “A Cat Named Apocalypse.” Does your Dad’s boss ever come over for dinner? Mine did last week. No wonder Dad’s always saying bad words about him. He didn’t say anything out loud, but he made that face. The one where his ears […] Read more

Rules For Getting Through The Coffeepocalypse

It’s Wednesday morning, and you’re running late. You totally remembered to set the alarm on your iPad, but the kid stole it to play Toca Monsters while you were in the shower. So when the time came to hear the soothing sounds of your Partridge Family ringtone, the device was well past earshot. Thus, you […] Read more

Apocalypse Power

Regardless of whether you believe an apocalypse is imminent or that you should just prepare for the worst but hope for the best, planning is the key to retaining your sanity. The likelihood of our whole society unravelling within our own lifetimes may be small, but there are plenty of other events that are “not […] Read more

Apocalypse Review: This Is The End

Review by Scarydad Okay, so I’m finding it difficult to write a review of This is the End. It’s not because of writer’s block or anything, it’s because there is so much fun and scary stuff going on that to tell you much about it might lead to spoilers and this is certainly a movie you […] Read more

Thunderpants Part 4: Jimmy quit, Jody got married…

Scarydad shares what follows the words every man with a guitar utters at some point—Let’s Start a Band. Here’s Part 1,  Part 2 and Part 3. So you want to be in a band? 5:50 PM Friday. Wife calls and asks if we need anything other than milk. “Beer.” is the response. Three-year-old is now upset because […] Read more

Read or be Stupid: I am Legend

Reading is important. It makes you less dumb, it improves your memory and it makes you less dumb. We want to encourage reading so we’ll be posting book reviews here from time to time. Check them out and read, or be stupid. Review by Scarydad Hello there all you happy people. Today we have a […] Read more

How to Dress for the Apocalypse

  It’s not often we offer fashion advice here at the Husband. But, a special treat for Apocalypse month, The Collector has found perfect attire for when we all expire.                Sometimes the world ends thanks to the experiments of an evil corporation. Be prepared with this Policeman Uniform from […] Read more

Choose Your Own Apocalypse

WHICH APOCALYPSE IS RIGHT FOR YOU? In the video game universe, sometimes you’re trying to prevent an apocalypse and other times you’re surviving one. What is amazing is just how many creative and exciting ways to experience end of civilization as we know it. What apocalypse should you be playing right now?     ZOMBIES […] Read more

How the Machines Will Do Us In (and Why it’s Totally Our Fault)

Humans aren’t the most discriminating species when it comes to wasting technology…not that any other species could be, considering they don’t really have technology. Tech is a distinctly human phenomenon, made possible by mastery of thumbs and our incredible urge to get other things to do our work for us, and machines are right there […] Read more

Pantry of the Apocalypse

It’s the end of the world. There are zombies among us, viruses are causing us to hide in fear, and the weather is wreaking havoc across the world. Okay so maybe I’m exaggerating, but it does make you think… are you ready for the apocalypse? If disaster struck would you have enough food in the […] Read more

The Bright Side of the Apocalypse

Okay, yes. The apocalypse is a horrible thing. Cities will crumble, the seas will boil, poison gas will melt your face into unseemly puddles, and pretty much everyone you love will die. But hey, it doesn’t all have to be doom and gloom! There are a few upsides to the end of the world. Parking – When 95% […] Read more

Dumb White Husband vs the Apocalypse

Maybe it’s the Ebola. Maybe it’s the terrorism. Maybe it’s that I’ve been watching too much Doomsday Preppers. It’s doesn’t really matter why, it only matters that it’s Apocalypse Month!  Writers have no shortage of thoughts on how the world could end. I imagined it in Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors as well as Gone to the […] Read more